Tony Silva

One of my favorite things to do is wander down the housewares aisle at the local StuffMart. The kitchen gadgets there are often cheap tin or plastic doodads that don’t do much.

One intriguing gadget catches my eye everytime I visit—the “microwave egg poacher”. Seriously. I envisioned egg muck stuck to the device or a quivering mass of not-so-cooked eggwhite staring back at me. Just thinking about what could happen makes me have an “Eeeeeew! moment”.

Recently, when I went out foraging for sporting goods, I was drawn into the forbidden aisle—probably by the oversized refridgerator magnets—and the little poacher called out, “try me… I'm only two bucks....” I couldn’t resist any longer. I just had to have this disaster in waiting for my very own. I rationalized that the kids could use it for a science experiment if the thing didn’t work.

But it did work. Actually, quite well. I have a reputation, well deserved, as a cruel destroyer of eggs. I’m probably the guy who invented the term, “scrambled omlet”. We’ve received complaints from the EPA about my previous attempts at poached eggs… OK, not really, but if they had seen them, they’d complain. Until last night.

After wrestling with the overkill that passes for packaging, I had my shiny new egg poacher laid out on the counter. The instructions were fairly simple: Put the eggs in the poacher. Microwave them. Eat. Somewhere in there is a note about “experimenting”—a concept I’m all too familiar with when it comes to poaching eggs. However, my first attempt was an edible success.

Later, my wife tried the device and marveled at the fact that it actually took longer to make the toast than it did to poach the eggs. I marvled at the fact that I had a consumeable meal before me in less time than it takes to find the pan I once used to humiliate myself in vain attempts at proving I could cook.

Now, with renewed self-esteem and a full tum tum, I feel safe in recommending the Nordicware Microwave Egg Poacher. I hope you try it and enjoy it.

Now where were those leg weights… Oh yeah, Sporting Goods.